McLaren F1 and poetry from 1998 and 2004

This orange car is a McLaren F1. It was designed and built by the McLaren company, an English company that has designed and built many more racing cars designed for racetracks than "production" "street" cars like the F1 designed for public roads.

(Based in England, Team McLaren was founded by Bruce McLaren; McLaren was born and raised in New Zealand, as was his friend and co-driver Denis Hulme.)

In fact, F1s have raced and won at racetracks such as LeMans in France.

I've been a big fan of Team McLaren since 1969, and I have autographs of drivers who drove for Team McLaren: Denis Hulme, Dan Gurney, and Peter Gethin, all of whom drove Group 7 CanAm sports cars (McLaren M8Ds) in 1970.

One thing I really like about the F1 is that the driver's seat is in the middle. The name, however, is not very appropriate... the F1 is more like one of the McLaren CanAm sports cars than it is like a single-seater open-wheel Formula One car... even if the seat is in the middle.

Another things I like about the F1 is its orange color. This light orange was selected by the team manager of Team McLaren, Teddy Mayer, because of its high visibility. I think it is beautiful.

If you are interested in learning more about McLaren cars, you can go to bruce-mclaren.com and mclaren.com.

My favorite racing McLaren is the M8D Group 7 sports car that was driven by Hulme, Gurney, and Gethin in the 1970 Canadian-American Challenge Cup series.

The World Trade Center; Sonnets from 1998

Holly (my first wife) and I were married in the north tower of the World Trade Center (World Trade Center One) ... the one with the antenna, on Oct. 7, 1985.

The World Trade Center was special to Holly because she had worked for the restaurant on the top floor (the 110th) of the north tower, Windows On The World. Windows On The World was special to me because I liked the view and the food and the ambience. Yes, it was expensive, but it was worth it. And the bathrooms were magnificently beautiful.

None of the people who died that day could be replaced (no one in Windows On The World at 8:45 A.M. on September 11, 2001 was able to make it out alive), but the buildings could have been rebuilt. I wish that they would be rebuilt. That would show courage.

The sonnets below were partly inspired by Ali, my second wife.

**********************************************************

Brush Strokes

Like thick translucent paint embroidered on
strong knotty pine becoming double doors,
relationships mature, each liaison
evolving naturally or planned. Cold floors
reflect emboldened fantasies, smooth dreams
now coalesce in gradual restraint
surrendered and devoured, soft ice creams
dissolving on our tongues. To reacquaint
each other with ourselves, we disagree
on angles of uncertainty, alive
with possibilities eternally
on borders of existence. We contrive
impassioned strokes of genuine regard
imprisoned in adjoining skies unstarred.

October 28, 1998


Concrete And Kittens

Concrete examples still personify
reactions incomplete, emotions mixed
like waterfalls in wilderness, dark sky
enshadowing internal politics
of loving equilibrium. My hand
is trembling with delight, a moment's touch
that blazes like volcanic wonderland.
The circle incomplete, and insomuch
as nothing integrates a pleasure, hot
as frozen ice, imagination
stills excitement squashed by sunny spot
a smear of greasy flesh and wills
both weak as kittens waking indistinct,
they open eyes, and carefully, they wink.

November 24, 2004

D. Composition III

Your head reclines upon soft pillows like
imagined visions in my mind, replete
in colored textures magnified that strike
sharp sparks from steel. Flint is bittersweet
as memories forgotten. Silken dust
accumulates relentlessly beneath
four-poster beds. Repressing wanderlust,
your tantalizing fantasies unsheath

themselves. In secret hiding places dark,
illuminated by a chandelier
reflecting passengers who disembark
with shaky steps, with thoughts unclear,
on golden gangplanks wearing satin clothes.
They sleepwalk as they decompose.

November 12, 1998

Christina Got A Job!

Christina got a job with a doctor who specializes in asthma and allergies. His office is only around 9 miles from her house, not 17 like the doctor she is working for now.

Yay!

The pay is good and the benefits are good and the doctor brings his dog Trevor to the office.

I got some work done on my book today so I feel better about that.

A pen-and-ink drawing from February 1979. The living room of the house in Flatbush, Brooklyn... rumored to have been built by a movie studio to house their workers AND to serve as movie sets. The real things - - - - - - - - the room, the things in the room - - - - - were real. The image on my eye was not quite the same as the image on the paper. Lines. Dots. And this was before I took the Monart classes. Lines representing shadows and textures. Village Voice on a table. Flat paper. Illusion of depth.

Two People On The Moon; bio info

Wow; I just learned something; if you click on the drawing below (or any other image, maybe), it gets big. Cool.

In April of 1984, I visited my friend David Burns in Texas. At the time, he was living with a woman named Lori Bier. I took a photograph of them, and later did this drawing of the two of them.

Of course, both Lori and David were (and still are) much prettier than they appear in my drawing. I can't draw people well.
************************************************************
As I was walking Clyde and Luna this morning, I was thinking how good my life has been.

Born in 1956, I had an older brother, Bruce, who was born in 1954. The family (mother, Charlotte Evelyn Campbell Burton; father, Howard Emory Burton) moved to Riverside, CA, before I was a year old. Joy was born in Riverside in 1958. I had a happy childhood.

I clearly remember lying around in the entryway; I liked to read the newspaper (still do, but don't like having it delivered because it takes time and space and money)... and I would spread the paper on the carpet in the entryway... near the front door, the doorway to the kitchen, and the closet... with the entryway to the living room behind me.

When I was very young, I thought that walls were very thick; YARDS thick. I was puzzled and disappointed when I found out how thin walls actually were.

I liked having an older brother and a younger sister. When I was younger, up until high school, Bruce and I were closer; he had a neat purple StingRay bike with a cool banana seat and he zipped around the neighborhood on his skateboard (I was never co-ordinated enough for a skateboard, rollerskates, or icescates).

When I was a junior in high school and Joy was a freshman, I started hanging out with her crowd (which included girls that I liked being with); the theater crowd. I was too shy to try out for any play, but I thought about it.

Overall, though, I didn't much like high school. I was bored. But I liked certain teachers: Doris Lustgarten, Dorothy Corley (both taught English), Robert Derrick (French), Ron Crandall (science), Ed Lyman (history), and others.

During my senior year of high school, I was part of the "High School University Program." It allowed me to take classes at the nearby University of California at Riverside even before graduating from high school. I took a philosophy course, "Critical Thinking," from Dr. Larry Wright. Larry was friendly with the father of my good friend Shane Harrah because Dr. Harrah was also a professor of philosophy at UCR.

Larry Wright was not only a philosophy professor, but an amateur race-car driver. He drove a Formula B Brabham. My friend Thor Loeffler, whose stepfather (Dr. Ed Clinkscale) taught music at UCR, was more into racing than Shane, so Thor and I hung around with Larry.

I got to sit in Larry's Brabham, but I never got to drive it.

The House I Grew Up In.... one of my beds.

Second image uploaded. This is an older image.... pen, then magic marker. The subject is my bed in the corner bedroom of the house I grew up in... 4667 Wellesley Way, Riverside, CA... the house that our father wanted to give to his children, not to his third wife (Carol Hester Burton, our evil stepmonster). Joy, who sadly died in 1999, knew right away that Carol was a selfish conniving crook, but Bruce and I were slower to realize how evil Carol was. Carol took out a $41,000 mortgage on the WW house... stealing from Bruce, me, and Joy.

Uploaded an Image of a Watercolor Drawing~~~~

This watercolor was painted in Flatbush, part of Brooklyn, on Sept. 28, 1978. Wow. This is an image of the living room of 2121 Albemarle Terrace, near Church St. and Flatbush Avenue. The door opens to a very small entryway; the very small entryway opens to the front.

Yes, this new phofacopriSC can scan. I can share drawings with anyone who can access my Website.

I moved from this rented house to the first house I owned (a two-family house at 39-72 47th Street in Sunnyside Gardens, Queens); I was able to buy the house because my mother and father loaned me the downpayment. My coborrower was Roger Brickner.

Technology makes the past accessible.

Unproductive and then Productive... all things change

I am not productive yet on the book, but I got out of bed in early afternoon and

Called the blood lab as I was told (I need blood tests before I can start lithium); I was told to come on in.

Posted a sign on the info kiosk saying that the park was still in danger (someone had written over my last sign with something like "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON THERE ARE NO PLANS FOR A POOL). Of course, this was just below two pieces of paper that had been posted pointing out the benefits of the pool and asking for supportive signature. I have magnanimously NOT torn down my opponents' postings.

Dropped old phofacoprisc and box of associated stuff at Goodwill; I felt sad. I hope it can be repaired, sold, and will continue to do yeoman service. It cost my employer around $1,200, which made me mad; leaving it made me sad.

Went to have my blood drawn; I was told that I had taken my medicines too recently and should come back later (I wish they had told me this over the phone)

Got two shopping carts of pet stuff at Wal-Mart and bought a coffeemaker (I broke the carafe of the one I had and could not find a new carafe that would replace the old carafe)

Dropped empty carbonators at UPS (for more info, go to www.soda-club.com)

Got drugs at drugstore

Dropped some at C's and some at Town Lake Animal Center

Exchanged a toner cartridge for $48

Agree to pick up C tomorrow at 8:30 so she can make her food-stamps interview at 9:00... and I can get my blood down

Talked with C about our problems as we drove around.

***********************************************************

I've actually been pretty calm recently. I enjoyed Maid To Order with Ally Sheedy even though it was silly.

"Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that do despitefully use you, and persecute you." ~ Jesus Christ"

Everything that lives is holy." ~ William Blake"

If humility is Christianity, you, O Jews, are the true Christians." ~ William Blake"

Fear of serious injury cannot alone justify oppression of free speech." ~ Louis Brandeis

Teachers "affect eternity; [they] can never tell where [their] influence stops." ~ Henry Brooks Adams

"Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge..... Let us dare to read, think, speak and write." ~ John Adams

"To perceive is to suffer." ~ Aristotle

"We are ensnared by the wisdom of the serpent; we are set free by the foolishness of God." ~ St. Augustine

"Marriage is not a good, but it is a good in comparison with fornication." ~ St. Augustine

"In a true society, there should be neither rich nor poor." ~ Francois-Noel Babeuf

"Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something that people take." ~ James Baldwin

The goal of the A.C.L.U. is "a society with a minimum of compulsion, a maximum of individual freedom and of voluntary association, and the abolition of exploitation and poverty." ~ Roger Baldwin, founder of the A.C.L.U.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke

"No myth of miraculous creation is so marvelous as the fact of [human] evolution." ~ Robert Briffault"

It is better to prevent crimes than to punish them." ~ Cesare Bonesana

"If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold of her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man shall give unto the damsel's family fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife." ~ The Bible, Deuteronomy 22, verses 28-29

Symbol of Enlgish Tenacity

How To Move From Paralysis To Productivity

1. Take a shower.
2. Walk the dogs.
3. Read a book or magazine.
4. Check email and respond.
5. Update blog.
6. Scan more drawings.
7. Put on music.
8. Eat coffee (with or without caffeine).
9. Pull a rabbit out of a hat.
10. Give a poor person a check for a million dollars that WON'T bounce

Depressed Not worriedl Not productive

Worried. Worried that my brain is so damaged that I cannot write this book. Formatting so complicated. I am confused. I am depressed. I am no motivation to do this book.

I can go to a lab tomorrow to have some blood tests.

If the blood tests are good, I could start taking Lithium.

Lithium might help me.

Don't worry! Be happy!

Silly words, perhaps, but worry/anxiety/fear has prevented me from enjoying life... and enjoying work.

Today, I'm having a hard time making the revisions to chapter 8 that were suggested by my project editor. I've tried saving the file he sent under a different name and then turning off the "track changes" feature, but Word locks up. Sigh.

Maybe I'll try it again when I am not logged on to the Internet.

Aren't gadgets great when they do what you want them to do?

The Blog Of A Snail

I was born. I crawled around. I ate. I got wet. I got cold. I got hot. I ate. I slept. I crawled around. I got bigger.

New Color PhofacopriscT.A.D. Is Working

Thanks to my new friend Charles Cala (see picture at right), my new Brother MFC-845CW phone-fax machine-copier-printer-scanner-telephone answering device is working.

If I can figure out how to get my cheap digital camera to get images into the printer, I guess I'll be able to do my own photo printing.

Charles not only handled the hardware and software, but he repaid the money I loaned him. And he agree to join Christina and me for dinner. We hope that Christina's son Sean and Christina's friend Deborah can join us too.

And I'd like Charles to join the Hula Hut Monday night dinner. Charles knows a lot about computers and other electronics.

My worries?

1. My book

2. Money

3. Health

The first and second third of my life

Talking with Christina today, I realized that the first 22 years of my life (and more) were relatively idyllic because my mom and my dad took such good care of me, Bruce, and Joy. Christina's parents took good care of her and her sister too.

So we learned for about 24 years that life was easy.

Then, life got harder. And it didn't seem fair. It seemed horribly wrong. It still seems unfair. And horribly wrong.

And, out of my 50 years on this planet, I've had better years than most people. Yes, I had two failed marriages. Yes, our evil stepmother stole $41,000 from Bruce and me. Yes, my jobs weren't perfect. I've made lots of mistakes.

But I've loved and been loved, I've done work that I've been proud of, and my life has probably been more "successful" than most lives.

So I should quit feeling sorry for myself.

Wonderful world, incredible universe, happy humans

I heard on the news recently that most people value character over candidates' positions on the issues, but I am curious about the latter.

Of course there is a relationship between who people are ("the content of their character," as Martin Luther King said), and what they do, but I think action is more important than existence. I don't admire "good" people who do nothing.

I wish I could find a site that would have info on how candidates feel about issues such as
1. abortion
2. the war in Iraq
3. terrorism
4. health care
5. education
6. taxation
7. job training for the unemployed
8. immigration (I don't like the phrase "illegal aliens"; I prefer "illegal immigrants")
9. global warming
10. gas taxes
11. birth control
and so on.

I wonder if I sometimes criticize religion (especially Christianity) because I feel scared and outnumbered... and therefore wrong. Maybe I want to justify my atheism. Maybe I am insecure in my atheism. Maybe I'd be happier if I had more faith in more things.

Despite the reasonableness and kindness of many religious people (such as my wonderful Uncle Emory), I try to reduce my arguing about religion by telling myself that arguing with religious people is like arguing with bricks.... only noisier and more upsetting.

I should try to find the text of Bill Clinton's speech supporting religion and criticizing extremism.

I should follow Christ's advice and be more agreeable.

I read part of a book that put religious feelings in the nonlogical half of the brain. Makes sense to me. Using logic against faith is like using cooked spaghetti to try to stop a garbage truck..... ineffective. I'm stupid to do it. I should stop it.

I guess a lot of people don't get the rest they want. Sometimes it is hard for me to get out of bed and get going. I have a list of things... and that list helps me get up and get going. Nothing on the list is really that hard, unless you count "getting out of bed." That can be hard for me.

I didn't know that poor sleep affected the heart. I fear that I don't get mine pumping enough. The best I have been doing is to walk the dogs. Good for the heart and soul.

I.M.H.O., my feelings depend on
1. external reality
2. internal reality (my thoughts and feelings).

I try to improve both areas. Doing things to calm myself, doing things to increase my income, doing things to entertain me..... those are things in the external realm... but I need internal motivation to do them.

Direct change of internal states is not easy for me. I do meditate in a variety of ways:

1. Something I concentrate on the sensation of the breath in my nose.

2. Sometimes I count (to 8 or 4).

3. Sometimes I focus my attention on what I hear, or feel, or see.

4. Sometimes I try to think of pleasant things that actually exist.

5. Sometimes I daydream of what changes I would make to this world to make it more in tune with my wishes.

For example, I might imagine a world without disease... where hospitals would become hotels... and doctors become teachers.

I might imagine a world where breeding of humans, cats, and dogs was more difficult. I.M.H.O., overpopulation causes habitat destruction and death.

I want to be stronger. I want to be healthier. I guess they are related.

Pooh, grass, trees, dogs, carpets, linoleum, rubber

"Nude Descending A Staircase 2" is the only painting of Marcel Duchamp that I know. If you know the beginning of a book by A.A. Milne, you know that Winnie-the-Pooh's real name was Edward and that Edward often descended a staircase while being held by Christopher Robin. C.R. held Pooh by his foot so Pooh's head bounced along the staircase. So that's why I did a drawing of Pooh descending a staircase in the style of Marchel DuChamp's "Nude Descending A Staircase 2."

Religion, tweezers, lasers, roofbeams, moonbeams

Religion can be defined differently, narrowly, or broadly... in many ways.

Because some religious people are dedicated and zealous, though, I would hesitate to call anything that people are dedicated and zealous about like a religion. Some people are dedicated to football, cards, cards, dogs, gardening, etc. (all things that are beyond oneself).... but I see those things as very much removed from religion.

A dedicated and zealous communist may work assiduously to eradicate religion. I do think the meaning of the word has evolved a lot in the last thousand years.

These statements make sense to me:
1. Catholicism is a religion.
2. Agnosticism is the state of ignorance about the existence of a supernatural being... there is no creed beyond that, no organization, nothing worshipped... none of the trappings or foundations of religion.
3. And atheism even more so.
4. A religion is an organization with dogmatic creed designed to codify beliefs in supernatural beings.

I am not religious, but I am not ashamed that my grandfather was a Baptist preacher, that my uncle was a Methodist minister, and that members of my family have been active in churches. I think my cousin Richard may be a minister. I'd like to correspond with him, but I fear that he is too busy.

Relgious people have done good as well as evil.

Not all Christians are killers and haters and hypocrites.

Not all Muslims are terrorist.

Not all Hindus are assassins.

Not all Buddhists are nonproductive.

Not all Shintoists are disconnected.

Not all Baha'ists wear flowers in their hair.

Bowie, dogs, ups, downs, Sally Field of Weeds

At right is racing driver Denis Hulme driving a McLaren M8F Group 7 sports-racing car. I think it is beautiful. I'd like to have one in my driveway. I guess there are homes with ten-car garages and five bedrooms, and that sounds good to me. If my fantasy of living in Hearst Castle comes true, I'd have a racetrack in the back yard with lots of garages for racing cars.

My father liked miniature golf, not real golf. He felt that real golf was for snooty rich people. Well, I guess car racing is for snooty rich people too, but it's different. Some drivers get into positions of success with money, or talent, or a combination of the two.

Auto racing could help make the world a better place by encouraging development of clean and efficient vehicles, but not much effort is being expended in that direction. I did read something in the new Road & Track about "green" racing.

I wonder if there has ever been a race where each car has the exact same amount of fuel... so speed and fuel economy must be managed... and more than one car might run out of fuel on the last lap.

The local paper had an article about blogs. The writer said they were becoming less popular. I wonder how many blogs are less popular than mine. Well, I don't need to be famous. I'd prefer the money.

Websites mentioned were:

austinbloggers.org

statesmanblogs.com

koax.org/austin

austin-stories.com

I suppose some people would envy me because I have a signed contract and the promise of an advance. Christina and I want to make more friends.

We went to the Town Lake Animal Center today for volunteer orientation. I got overwhelmed by it all and walked out. Christina made it through the ups and downs (not all animals leave there alive), and she plans to volunteer 6 hours per week. T.LAC is on Lake Austin, I think; Austin bodies of water look like rivers to me, but they are often called lakes.

I think American troops should be withdrawn from Iraq, but what if I am wrong? What if terrorists attack us here at home?

In Sept. of 2001, the Dept. of Defense failed to defend us. Since they failed in defense, they went on the offense... invading Afghanistan (where the perpetrators of 9-11 were) and Iraq (were lots of oil was).

In Sept. of 2007, the Dept. of Homeland Security might fail to defend us.

My father, Howard Burton, wrote a book about religion. Kim and Linda Medina, students of my father, put the book on the Web. You can read it at http://hometown.aol.com/kimzart3/0index.html.

I was depressed this morning. Overwhelmed. Didn't take my Lorazepam because it makes me sleepy and I feared being overly sleepy. Instead, I was overly tense. I hope to have blood tests to see if it would be safe to take Lithium. I fear that Lithium will not do me much good, but the side effects should be mild.

I Received A Signed Contract Today

John Whitacre is next to large tomato plants. He is a friend of mine.


So I guess I should write another chapter of my book. How odd. "My." How possessive.

Car Audio for Dummies

I hope I can get an agent and more writing assignments after I finish this book. Buhk. Is that a good way to spell "book" fonetiklee?

I tuhk a luhk at a cohkbuhk hanging frum a huhk... and Ii shivurd and shuhk. I tuhk mii shoo awf mii fuht. Iz a kriminal thu saam az u kruhk?

I took a look at a cookbook hanging from a hook... and I shivered and shook. I took my shoe off my foot. Is a criminal the same as a crook?

The other piece of good news is that the plans for the pool across the streeet are "tabled." That's what the president of the neighborhood association wrote in the latest newsletter... and she, I fear, was the big cheese behind the pool idea.

She (and others) wanted the pool. I didn't...and I guess some people either agreed with me or were too lazy to do the work to buy the land from the city and get the whole process started to have the pool built.

Good news. Wow. The book deal is big news. I forget how much money.... the term is "advance on royalties" I've been promised. I never wanted to be a writer! But I'll take it. I'm too old to dig ditches.

And I can write without commuting. I can write morning, nude, or night. Just follow the table of contents....

· About the Author
· Dedication
· Author’s Acknowledgements



Contents at a Glance



(all pages counts are estimates; estimated total of parts listed below= 363)

Introduction................................................6

Part I: Car Audio Dysfunction; The Curse of the Universe.......76
Chapter 1: Audio Ambling from Paris……19
Chapter 2: Planning Your Plumbing... Before It Is Too Late……19
Chapter 3: Buying Smart………19
Chapter 4: Insulting Resources.....19

Part II: Heathrow and Other Airports......38
Chapter 5: Heading for the Hills……19
Chapter 6: Dashing Through Snow…19

Part III: Newt Gingrich's Website….57
Chapter 7: Cooking in an Old Microwave Oven….19
Chapter 8: Installing Speakers Upside Down…...19
Chapter 9: Crazy Speaker Installation.………19

Part IV: Components for Scottish Systems...........38
Chapter 10: Amplifiers for Plunge and Beauty……19
Chapter 11: Processors for Apples and Oranges…..19

Part V: Twill, Velvet, and Cheesecloth.......76
Chapter 12: For Amazing Sound Quality Inn…..19
Chapter 13: For Rotten Sound Quality………...19
Chapter 14: For Annoying the Neighborhood Nazis………….…19
Chapter 15: For SQ and SPL Competition….…19

Part VI: The Part of Tennis Pros...30
Chapter 16: Ten Great Sauces……6
Chapter 17: Ten Important Queens…………6
Chapter 18: Ten Ways to Evaluate Cranberry Sauce……..6
Chapter 19: Ten Pairs of Purple Underwear………6
Chapter 20: Ten Terrific CDs by Franz Schubert……6

Index.........................18
Appendix A: Glossary………..............12
Appendix B: The Basics of Elephants.........................................12

The Ten Suggestions:

A Moral Code Based On
Hedonistic and Utilitarian Values

1. Thou shalt be kind and loving.
2. Thou shalt support and extend life to humans, animals, and all living things; thou shalt not damage or destroy that which supports life
3. Thou shalt encourage health, both physical and mental, and try to cure illness and disease… prevent and heal injuries… and prevent and reduce incapacitation.
4. Thou shalt help people and animals to attain happiness and pleasure as appropriate.
5. Thou shalt be unselfish and generous.
6. Thou shalt learn and encourage learning; thou shalt teach and encourage teaching.
7. Thou shalt support freedom; thou shalt liberate.
8. Thou shalt create that which is good and support the creation of good things.
9. Thou shalt tell the truth… and remember that the truth is a sharp sword and should be used with care and kindness.
10. Thou shalt be merciful and forgiving, especially in personal relationships, while thou shalt be just, fair, and unprejudiced, especially in courts of law, in government, and in business and professional relationships.

A big cat danced entirely free, going home in Jersey

The orange car is a McLaren CanAm car (a Group 7 sports car, to be precise). The driver next to it is Denis Hulme, the only F1 World Champion to come from New Zealand. I have his autograph.

I might be more obsessed with the past than other people. My bathroom is decorated in Winnie-the-Pooh style because my sister Joy and our mother liked Pooh (whose real name was Edward, you know).

I have pictures of dogs who have passed on, and I even have ashes of two of them (Cosmo and Zooey, who belonged to Joy).

I wonder why computers aren't easier to use. I've used Macs and PCs, and think Macs are a tad easier, but both could be easier.

I saw an ad recently for an "easy to use" cellphone. It was called Jitterbug. The Website (gojitterbug?) makes it look reasonable for many people.

Getting back to computers, I'd like to see a Welcome screen something like this:

What would you like to do?

If you'd like to read or write email, click here.

If you'd like to work on the last document you worked on, click here.

If you'd like to use Dogpile or another Web-search engine, click here.

I have a recumbent bike (made by Bike-E)

Recumbent. Not standing up. Recumbent bikes have their seats behind their pedals. Recumbent bikes are lower than most bikes. Most bikes have their seats ABOVE their pedals. Recumbent bikes can have fat soft comfortable seats. Recument bikes are more aerodynamic than most bikes. If you are riding a bike with the seat at the same height as the handlebar.... and you crash into something... you can fly over the handlebars and land on your face. When you ride a recumbent bike and crash into something, it is really really really hard to fly over the handlebars.

I thought it was A.M. but it is really P.M.

Filename is “Sonnets 2006”


Heavenly Bodies

Catastrophes apart, she symbolized
the gentlest epitome of soul
in futures never found so crystallized
as deep within her eyes. This heaven’s bowl
(inverted from eternal moonstruck lights)
reflects beneath blue rhythm of her voice,
absorbed within dark indigo of nights
unspoken, untogether. When hard choice
between each other tangles innocence
in manacles that chafe on pale wrists,
invisible bright diamonds lose their sense
when resting on her finger. Unfurled fists
caress my heart; Christina laughs to warm
my body that has finally found its form.

March 15, 2006

Space And Time Ship

Y’all should know that I’m a rocketship
embued with colors of a mattress pad
and glued hard to the past. Relationship
of trees and time, immediately mad
at images of universal gloom
not darkly comprehended. Telescopes
allow the observation of the doom
of towels barbequed between the hopes
for better lives, for carpets shaggy as
an English sheepdog’s portrait on the wall.
I kiss and tell you that the future has
immobilized most everything of all
especially those who are forever sad,
including lonely people (good and bad).

April 27, 2006



Candlelight

As reachable as stars at break of day,
your touch reverberates with intricate
insinuations on my body. Grey
are slumber days dissolving delicate
as ghosts of spider webs, intelligence
expressed in angled lines revealing
arachnid hunger, patience, and a sense
of thin ephemeral beauty. When concealing
dancing arts from ancient distances,
your limbs paint pictures in blank swirling air
creating watercolors with resistances
of waves. Reflections of sensations bare
ourselves to misinterpretations, split
as morning sun divides a candle lit.

May 4, 2006

Dark Kisses

Dark leaves completely shattered underfoot,
extemporaneous confusion caused
some miscellaneous desires put
away with all our yesterdays. We paused
to savor shadowed moments, certain that
they’d slip through fingers, trembling lips oblique
like stars and satellites. Engage in chat
with diamond rain as plans dissolve to peek
like new-born kittens delicate, too young
to blink their sealed eyes. Dark leaves create
a shifting pattern as a dancing tongue
implants a kiss resolving pain we hate,
inspiring divisions of the heavens bare,
collecting stardust in your lovely hair.

May 27, 2006


Chasing And Walking

When Clyde stops running, I don’t know if his
brown eyes are still afraid despite his legs
(two innocents spread wide unshamed); what is
the mixture of emotions as he begs
for doggie biscuits? Stroking his dark fur
from head to tail wagging sinuous,
I feel his forgiveness more than pure
as joy that makes him dance when he sees us.
Even when constrained by leash that binds,
A happy pas de deux as he escapes
from his protective custody. He finds
an exclamation as his tail drapes
just like a curtain in the wind, soft sign
that brand-new scents in wonder still combine.


Left Behind With Sorrow

When innocent companion tries
to hold my hand complicitly, we walk
across the overpass as if it lies
across a penitent abyss; we talk
of distances and baby steps, of care
that places children’s shoes where they belong,
so neatly laced, so neatly placed right where
they stand right in between the road they’re on
to warn invisibility of where
they’re going. All intention moves each foot
with ignorant self-confidence through air
that parts and flows behind as feet are put
each one before the other. Each is left
behind with sorrow for all that is bereft.

June 17, 2006


Whirlpool Declension

Your beauty makes me feel more alive,
Unconsciousness within mortality,
with hopelessness cascading to survive
beyond this fragile mind. At sea,
it seems I float so aimlessly except
the whirlpool draws me down, a paper scrap
or ballet dancer who has leapt
below. Entranced, I watch the spinning trap
that promises dismemberment before
salt water tears my lungs. Impossible
to save me from discovery, rough roar
of intimate destruction beats a dull
yet rhythmic funeral march; I see your face
less clearly as white water takes my place.

Summer 2006




Nudity Undraped

When curtains draped around the casket fell
Like sham pain bubbles at the edges of
Niagara Falls, smiles cut to sell
Experience, forgiveness, solemn love
On pink-shade night-blue sheets uncreased
That carves unsatisfied, spiral form
Teasing now at body parts unleashed
Discovered with dismay. Breathing warm
As miniature unopened bottles by
The heart-shaped tub, internal waves reflect
Emotions amplified forever lie
Like towels slicked with soap to introspect
imperfect skin unshimmering to touch,
When nudity undraped reveals so much.

Sept. 26, 2006




Overnight Oxidation

I am the grease beneath your fingernails,
Everything that’s been neglected, mold
Expanding complicated fairy tales,
Restricting range of emotion. Truth untold
May fester overhead to sanctify
Dark depths of our impressions. Calculate
Soft values of three kisses sliding by,
Implacable persuasion coming late,
Like bills unpaid from thunderstorms delayed.
How many feather beds may complicate
Dark passages between still births, dismayed
In innocent survival? Born too late,
Confusing ghosts in agony washed clean,
The rusty hardware makes our faces mean.

Sept. 26, 2006

Fireworks

I kiss bright shadows that explode
In silent. Discovering a landscape soft
As brushstrokes in a masterpiece, a winding road
From yesterday. We kissed, you coughed
Politely as a chambermaid to get
A tension supernatural as light
In rooms unwindowed. Now, with me, forget
How flowers bloom and veins collapse with slight
Unnoticed exhalations. Kissing air
That swarms between our clothing and our whims
Embodied in emotion debonair,
Weeping deeply as red sunset dims,
Ripped from shoulders warm that recreate
Four Roman candles that exterminate.

Sept. 26, 2006







Rocky Road Kill

Like old men eating ice cream, we pretend
That births outnumber deaths, that squirrels
Frozen in the gutter cannot send
A message of unhappiness to girls
Who should be at the movies. Fantasies
Of memories explode when lightning strikes
And sheets of rain ruin wrists and knees
Exposed to night’s experiments. Dislikes
Are only neural patterns, cold upon
Their aged tongues, their toothless mouths dissolve
Smooth frozen tastes too quickly gone
Now dimly seen with eyes that can revolve
And brains that cannot comprehend the speeds
of passing cars and spoons fulfilling needs.

Sept. 26, 2006



Cakes And Caskets

So why do naked women rarely pop
From birthday cakes or coffee cakes to thrill
Assembled multitudes of males? Stop
And think how strippers feel ice cream’s chill
Awaiting their appearance. No; they leave
their secret hiding place, an exit grand
as ten-tear wedding cake. As deaths bereave
the widows and the widowers who’ve planned
ahead, the mourners come and go; they don’t
discuss the office parties of the past;
even if they wanted to, they won’t.
Filing by the casket, thoughts so vast
as we think of other things, like cakes
concealing naked women at the wakes.
Oct. 4, 2006



Implacable Facade

Implacable persuasions emphasize
Reductions of all mournful memories
In empty rooms, in distant empty eyes
That fill with tears. Clocks in tune are wise
To unfulfilled engagements, sentiments
Unspoken daily like the meaningless
And thoughtless greetings that we sense
Are fragile as a buttercup, unless
We cradle it with love. As shadows fall
From afternoon to evening on the ground,
No recompense appears upon the wall,
This silence cracked by curious new sound,
My pedigree improved to be a fraud,
These bricks, this face, no more than thin façade.

December 22, 2006

Golden Rulers

How closely do your thoughts approximate
A perfect comical device? I might
Attempt to redesign existent cut
Between all sacraments and candlelight
as often as a skeleton might smile
At my attempts at humor or teeth white
Full of observations quite worthwhile
Or, at least, a bit amusing in the night.
Why would girls attending Catholic school
Obey their nun and thus appear so fast
That blinks and cameras were not so cool
To catch each other totally outclassed
Completely pure in circumstance, and clean,
Where I was holding hands all painted green.

I'm up a litte early..... no, I'm up late. It is not 6 A.M., but 6 P.M. I took a few extra Lorazepam because I felt so weird. No news from the company that I was hoping could fix my phofacoprisc. Feelings change.

Try clicking on the blank box. You might get an image of Peter Revson driving a McLaren M20 CanAm car in 1972.

I hope to get the green light from John Wiley, the publishers of books fo Dummies. I hope to be able to get a lot of work done today..... I mean tomorrow.

More killed in Iraq. Bad conditions in Army hospitals in the U.S. Scooter Libby convicted of lying about the wife (Valerie Plane, a covert C.I.A. officer) of someone (ambassador Wilson) who warned that attacking Iraq was a bad idea.

Sounds like Watergate.... hurting their critics.

Why will so few people accept that we have already won the Iraq war?
1. We occupied Iraq.
2. We ensured that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction.
3. We ensured Iraqi's leader and others were hung by the neck until dead. 4. We set up a democratic govenment.
5. We are spending more money to rebuilt Iraq (destroyed by U.S. bombing, not by Katrina).

We won. Mission accomplished. Let's bring the troops home... as soon as Osama Bin Laden is captured.

Free Will = Freedom = Choices

Long ago, maybe years, and far away, in the San Bernardino mountains not too far from Lake Arrowhead, I attended a retreat lead by Marshall Jung. Marshall had been a counselor for Ali, my wife at the time, and he also acted as a couples counselor for both of us.

It was late at night.

Marshall, I, and others were talking about his god (Marshall was a Catholic). I wondered why an all-powerful and all-good god would allow evil.

"Because God grants people free will," Marshall said.

We spoke of the events of 9-11-01 that occurred in New York City and at the Pentagon. I.M.H.O., the hijackers had more freedom than the victims. The victims may have "willed" their own survival. The passengers on Flight 93 willed their survival, their wishes did not come true, but they probably saved others. The hijackers evidently willed to crash Flight 93 into a building to cause massive death and desctruction. Their will was thwarted by the passengers.

We can equate "free will" with "freedom" or we can say that "free will" is the freedom to wish for things. E.g., I have the freedom of will to wish for a hot fudge sundae. My free will allows me to use my willpower to will with all my heart that people will not be tortured to death.

Every day, there are things

1. I can do

2. I want to do

3. I should do (to maximize the chances of my income increasing, or to make my home nicer, or to be kinder to others).

I can't do everything I want to do. I don't want to do some things that I can do. Circle theory might help illustrate this concept.

Obviously, some people have more freedom than others. Bill Gates can buy and pay for a car priced at over $400,000. I can't. President Bush can go on TV pretty easily. Prisoners in jail can't go on TV very easily.

Clyde Has Gotten Loose 2 Days in a row

The orange racing cars in the picture are Formula 1 Grand Prix McLarens... perhaps M14As from 1970. The drivers may be Dan Gurney and Peter Gethin (Denis Hulme wore a white helmet with two black stripes). The red car with the gold nose is a Lotus 72, perhaps driven by Jochen Rindt, although the helmet does not look like Rindt's. It is not the early part of the season, because the Lotus 72 was only raced in the latter part of the season (Lotus raced the older model 49B [?] in the early races of 1970, including the Monaco GP where Jochen Rindt passed Jack Brabham at the last corner of the last lap to take the win. I think video of this is available on YouTube.com).

----------------------------------------------------

When Clyde got loose, I forgot to ask Clyde to sit. He did come home both times, but I got really upset. I'm fragile, and I get stuck, paralyzed, and afraid under stress, although I usually do cope fine... even when I came home yesterday and found three cop cars at Doghouse. The back door was not locked or latched, and I guess a dog pushed it, and that set off the alarm. The cops were nice, except that they pepper-sprayed Clyde and Luna even though the dogs were on the other side of a wrought-iron fence. Of couse, I did not criticize the cop who confessed to this. Police brutality!

I worry about money. I guess I worry about money more than anything else. Don't worry; be happy! Maybe my father's wishes will come true and the house that he bought in 1956 will go to Bruce and me. Money can reduce worry.

Carol, our father's third wife, badgered my father unmercifully about the disposition of the house. At first, Dad did a will giving the house to his kids as soon as Carol died... but Carol put the screws to him so the time period was extended and extended... finally to the point that Carol was granted life tenancy.

Even then, she should have been only trustee of the house, not owner, and she should not have taken out a $41,000 mortgage on the property.

Carol got the money, reducing the value of the property. She stole from Joy, Bruce, and me. Joy died, so it didn't affect her.... she never liked Carol, and I should have trusted Joy's feelings more. I hate Carol. And I blame my dad for marrying her and giving in to her pressure.

Speaking of slides, even before my phofacoprisc got sick (it thinks that there is some paper jammed in it, and it might be correct), I was thinking that maybe I wanted to transfer some images from slides to.....
1. CD-ROM
2. DVD-ROM.
If I do have to buy a new phone/fax machine/copier/printer/scanner, I could get one that could scan slides. Maybe I should get one that scans photographs as well. It would have to be a "flatbed" type, I guess; not the type where things are fed through a machine.

"You should be eating dinner," something tells me. When I was a kid, dinner was usually around 5:30 because Dad or Mom might have an evening class to teach (at RCC, Riverside City College). Mom taught children's literature many Wednesdays, and Dad taught the art of the cinema on many Thursday evenings.
I was conscious at some point that other fathers in the neighborhood, Mr. Thomason in particular, taught at a more prestigious institution: The University of California at Riverside. The Thomasons and others had dinner at 6:00.

Things change. Especially moods. I know that moods change, and yet I FEEL that my moods won't change. After all, there is no reason for them to change.

Goals: To cope with life, help other living things, and enjoy life.

I should have a book in process. My uncle Emory promised to send me a book, and I am looking forward to getting that, but I have others I could read in the meantime.

Zooey and Cosmo

When my sister Joy was dying, my wife at the time and I promised to take care of her two dogs, Zooey and Cosmo (at right).

Earlier, Joy had told me that she was very worried about what would happen to her dogs after she died (she had breast cancer). She told me that, because she was worried about her dogs, that she had decided not to die.

I did my best to take care of Cosmo and Zooey, although I deeply regret leaving town when Cosmo was very ill with a bowel disorder. While I was gone, he stayed at his vet, but he got very weak just before I returned, and died a day or two after I got back. He was 11 years old.

When my bulldog Cholmondeley died (of congestive heart failure), I was hurt so much that I swore I would never get another dog... but I did. And I loved Molly, Cosmo, and Zooey. They were like siblings.

Zooey died in July of 2005 here in Austin. I had gotten in touch with Austin Aussie Rescue so I could get a companion for Zooey....... after she died, I took two Aussie mixes (Stacy and Clyde) as foster dogs. Stacy got a home. Clyde got a home with me. In November, Luna joined the family.

There are no happy endings. There are happy dogs.

And two of them live with me.

Blogs, Diaries, Books, Magazines, Newspapers

My neighborhood association isn't all bad, although they made a ridiculous request that I trim the grass near my trees and at the base of my house (I liked the soft natural effect of long grass around the trees and the house). But the thing at right shows that the Neighborhood Nazis do more than complain and plot to build a pool across the street from my house. They also have a pack of dogs that sniffs for dangerous substances. Dogs have an excellent scent memory.

I'd read any blog that was consistently funny, entertaining, and informative. I like strong opinions (especially ones that I agree with). I like jokes and funny pictures. I like to know what's new with my friends.

Blogs can be like diaries. They can also be commentary on current events (I guess you probably know that I am a Libertarian/liberal who thinks that the U.S. should not have invaded Iraq... and that we should get out of their A.S.A.P. to save lives, to save $$$$$, and to go after Osama Bin Laden).

Speaking of Libertarians, have you taken "The Smallest Political Quiz In The World"? Go to www.lp.com to take it. It is imperfect, and subject to disagreement, yet interesting. Freedom is an interesting issue. I.M.H.O., we have too little freedom in this country.

And I have an opinion that few liberals do: Statelaw should supersede federal law. This means that a state's laws could contradict federal law... and the feds couldn't do a thing about it.

The result? Some states would be more liberal or more conservative than the feds want.

Speaking of the feds, I believe that the Senate should be disbanded because it does not represent the American people fairly. For example, California has a population of 34 million..... but only two senators.... while Rhode Island has a population of 12... and two of these people are senators. Inhabitants of underpopulated states have too much influence on federal law..... inhabitants of populous states have too little federal power. It's not fair.

Information. When you think of a word, do you see it in your mind? Do you see and hear it? "Your mind's eye" is a familiar phrase.... why not "your mind's ear"? Which nuts have good fats?

What do conservatives want to conserve? American freedoms?

How do we remember smells? Smells may trigger other memories, but how does the sight of a cup of coffee trigger the memory of coffee's smell?

Tom Nousaine..... and.... Preventing A Pool From Being Built Across The Street

The guy on the right is Tom Nousaine. He's a good friend and he's perhaps the world's best tester of car-audio systems. He is the president of a company that trains people to be good listeners. He told me about Ruthie Foster, a musician who lives in Austin, and Christina and I have enjoyed two Ruthie concerts (at the first one, I got her to autograph a poster which I sent to Tom). You can learn more about Ruthie at her Website, www.RuthieFoster.com.

***********************************

Some people, including the president of the neighborhood association ("The Neighborhood Nazis"), want to have a pool built across the street from my house.

I hate the idea, as expressed in postings I've put on the neighborhood Information Kiosk (which have been torn down by someone unknown).

Stop The Pool!
1. The pool will destroy part of Silk Oak Park… the part closest to Tanglewood Oaks!
2. The pool will double our homeowners’ dues forever from $144 to $288!
3. Trees will have to be cut down to make room for the pool. Too many trees in Austin have been cut down already. Trees are worth more than diving boards!
4. The pool will turn part of the park from its natural state to concrete! Stop natural Texas land from being replaced by California concrete!
5. The pool will increase traffic, noise, violence, and parking problems!
6. The pool will bring strangers into our neighborhood!
7. There are enough pools in the area already; we don’t need another one!

Of course, the pool will be worse for me than most people because it will ruin my view. One of the things that I liked about this house was that there was parkland across the street... not houses. I'd hate to look at a pool instead of a park. It rots my socks.

So, today, my sign was torn down again, which has happened regularly in the past two weeks or so, and............. for the first time..............someone put up a sign saying that the pool was a good idea.

I didn't tear down their sign, but I put up one of mine under it. I've also printed out some flyers (similar to the sign) and left them under car windshields and scrunched between house doorknobs and doorjambs.

Maybe I'm going to lose this fight, and it does bug me that I don't have as much support as I'd like, but it's worth some effort. Maybe I should ask that everyone reading this blog should email the Neighborhood Nazis and say that the pool is a bad idea.

Walked Clyde and Luna twice today. Tense in the morning, and maybe a bit manic in the afternoon. Maybe I should take 2 more Lorazepam.

In January, I told Christina that I hoped the Democrats would throw mud at the Republicans instead of at each other. David Geffen screwed things up by attacking the Clintons. Obama seemed to handle the problem with grace, but I sure wish Geffen and other Democrats wouldn't sink their own ship.

The new Sparks album has tons of vocals and lots of repetition and tons of vocals and lots of repetition and it's not as wonderful as KIMONO MY HOUSE, but it's still great. It's got the hit song "Perfume." It's called something like MODERN LOVE or something.

Good news from Christina: She now has health insurance. She has to wait until April 1 until she sees doctors, however. I hope this is not an April Fool's joke.