Joy's "very first poem" and others

After my sister Joy died in 1999, I hoped that a Website could be created that would keep her memory alive. That didn't happen. Since I've been putting various things in this blog: stuff about my life, some of my poetry, some of my drawings, etc.---------------I thought I'd put some of Joy's poetry in here too.

Some info:

1. 1958: Joy was born in Riverside California to Charlotte Evelyn Campbell Burton and Howard Avery Burton. Joy's full name was Joy Campbell Burton. She was named "Joy" because Mom and Dad, having two boys, hoped for a girl. The boys were Bruce Howard Burton (born 1954) and William Augustus Burton (born 1956).
2. Joy attended Emerson Elementary School. Instead of attending 1st grade, she went with her family to Europe; they stayed mostly in London, and Joy attended Brooklands School. She completed 2nd through 6th grade at Emerson (where she met longtime friend Beth Adame). She completed 7th and 8th grades at University Heights Junior High School.
3. Joy attended John W. North High School from 1968 to 1972. She traveled to France with other students and French teacher Robert Derrick. She had many friends in the theater department, including her very good longtime friend Janet Brown.
4. Joy began taking occasional classes in art and other subjects at Riverside City College.
5. She worked for Riverside Monumental, and, for a short time, had a job where she ran from one doorway to another to leave information (on an exercise place?).
6. Joy lived with boyfriend Kendall _______________. Later, she bought a house with childhood friend Beth Adame. Beth had a dog named Molly and Joy had a dog named Cosmo. When Beth left to get married, Joy got Zooey to keep Cosmo company.
7. On August 10, 1985, our mother died of breast cancer.
8. In October of 1985, Joy came with Kendall to New York to be the maid of honor for Bill's bride, Holly King Emma. The weddding was held at Windows On The World in the north tower of the World Trade Center. The wedding dinner was in the floor below WOTW, the 109th floor, in a restaurant called The Wine Cellar.
9. Joy got a job as a graphic designer with Kaiser Permanente. She became close friends with her boss, Nancy Young, and with nurse Pam Palmer, and with Celeste ___________. Another close friend was Suzanne ________ and her daughter _______________.
10. Joy was diagnosed with breast cancer. It went into remission. It came back in her bones.
11. Feb. 7, 1999, Joy was at home with friend Pam Palmer, a Kaiser nurse. Joy did not feel well, and Pam took her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with necrotizing fascitis (?). Many of her friends (including Nancy Young), me, and my wife Ali (who was also one of Joy's best friends) joined her in the ICU. We feel she got the best care possible not only becuase she was a Kaiser employee and because she knew the doctors caring for her but because she was so much loved. She died early in the morning of Monday, February 8, 1999. As she requested, the Beatles' song "In My Life" was played at her memorial service in the Unitarian Chuch that we had attended. She was much loved.

And Joy loved her friends, her dogs, her home, her art, her music, and so much more. She made birdhouses and other things in the garage that she converted into a woodshop. She was very close to her mother, who died of breast cancer in 1985, and to Beth's mother, Caroline Adame, and Beth's father, Jack Adame (Jack was a Master Gardener).

She liked Elvis Costello, The Beatles (especially John Lennon), The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Concrete Blonde, Collective Soul, Steve Ray Vaughn, The Blues Brothers, Genesis, and many others. She loved Cat Stevens, and saw him walk through the lobby of his London hotel. And she loved movies such as The Wizard Of Oz and many others.

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my very first poem

As silent as a dove I look at you
I think of how you loved me late last night
The moon was bright and brilliant in its light
How careless was our love untouched and true
You touched my heart but left me in the cold
My love for your could never be more strong
But why then is my loving you so wrong?
I loved the way you turned my heart to gold
I wonder at my sweet and childish love
You made me realize what's all too true
That I can never know my love anew
My moon and star are falling from above
My last and only wish for you is this:
That I may come to know you with a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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Seasons

In spring I dance
Through orchards of ecstasy
And meadows of song
Singing to the trees in harmony
Smiling at a day of beauty.

Summer brings the sea and fire
Passion on warm evenings
Cool breeze of calm
And clear dark skies
Over phosphorescent waves.

In fall I walk
Through crisp brown leaves
Breathing in the cool fresh air,
Shuffling through the fog
That drifts above the earth.

Winter breathes an icy flame
A cold moon leaves patterns
In the snow; white, silent.
Almost fragile
A secret beauty kept at night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton


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Klepto

It started with a pen, you know
A little blue delight
Guiltless theft is worse, of course
You did it without fright.
Scissors, markers, and even a glass
I can't understand how you thought it would pass.

You stand uncured, and quite alone
A drawing in your hand
You say you're justified and yet...
I'll never understand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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remnants

The choice is mine?
But how can I choose
Whatever I pick
I'm sure to lose
_______

I have an orchard of love
a meadow of bliss
a sky of song
I dance for flowers in the night
_______

bookshelf romance
cries of fear
intriguing passion
dreams awake at night

moonlight morning
shades of night fade
whispers of secrets
and love in memory
____________

if i wait long enough
will you come to me?
if i cry hard enough
will you comfort me?
hoping for my dream
throughout my life
i'll always have you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton, ashland 76

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My nose is peeling I'm feeling sad
It's hot as hell and the music is bad
Mutual lust will never exist
Why must men always persist
Jade and silver I gave to my love
Instant ....... fell from above
Holding Malcolm stroking his strings
Seduction and pleasure are everything
Midnight lovers haven't pleased me before
Never much fun and always a bore
You came along in the nick of time
Love in the dark and I feel so fine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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we steal way
snatching kisses like yesterday
frightened children
longing to love
hoping for a moment,
one moment
of passion in a guiltless night
feeling the fire of pain
withdraw into tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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These hands,
they show my age three-fold
the young pink flesh
wrinkled and creased
the soft white nails
chipped and broken.

These hands,
reveal my heart
my struggle with love.

These hands,
they touch ivory keys
with strength and vigor
carrying the music
into my heart.

These hands
the hands that show the scars
the pain, bring my fulfillment
to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton


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janet

I see you, child of sorrow,
love, laughter and song
living tomorrow in the past
never the same
singing in your mind
be free
flowers and cigarettes in your own meadow
dying to live just a moment
truth is sadness
cradle the song beside you
within
shine brightly among the smoke, do not cry
you know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton


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Soccer

My shoes were wet and muddy
As I waded through the grass
The fog was thick and heavy
I knew it couldn't last.

I couldn't see the goals
I couldn't see the ball
I couldn't see the players
I couldn't see at all.

We suffered in damp silence
But finally decided
That we should all quit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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Hockey

I swung my stick in great despair

I didn't hit a thing

The ball rolled by quite viciously

( The swing is everything )

That's fucked! I cried in deep disgust

The whistle did not blow

Penalties unnoticed and

Our team without a goal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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painting

i'm waiting

waiting for the gesso to dry

on a canvas

so i can paint

paint a landscape

paint a house

paint a garden

paint a portrait

a portrait of anyone

anyone

but you.

no time for romantic persuasion

no time for excuses

i'm painting

painting over white

i'm painting so I don't have time

for you.

i just haven't the time

i'm busy with acrylics

blue violet pink grey

i'm painting fast

faster

from you.

my canvas is thick

thick with paint

beginning to harden

harden into black

there's no more room

can't go anywhere

anywhere

away from you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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swan song

sharp fear

awakens me to a grey morning

unwelcome fog shrouds the mountains

as i begin my daily walk

in silence.

i walk alone on cold cement

the blood-tears stain the sidewalk.

i wonder

did you hear the swan?

can you hear me?

I whisper softly to the clouds

half wishing for an answer, i wait

in silence.

i watch the clouds

drifting

in choreographed splendor.

for hours they glide and change

their grays from warm

and then to dark again

and i forget my tears.

i want to caress the clouds

as I would caress you

but you might slip through my fingers

like the cloud's mist

and i would lose you again.

the wind

dries my tears as I walk home

in silence.

the sun creeps behind the clouds

lighting patches of

black asphalt.

i run to the patches of light

tripping

and running again

catching up with the sun's

patterns on the earth.

i think about the clouds

i think about you.

i think about the swan

and me.

i reach home exhausted

and decide

i'll make some tea

and start dancing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~jcb (joy)

1*14*80

2.06 am

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eat my thoughts, chew every bite

it seems you have an appetite

my diet consists of depression and pain

as soon as i'm full, i'm hungry again

my dreams have come false at last

waiting so long in present and past

cornered by the mirror tonight

overcome by laughter and fright

carefully suppressing my rage

setting my mind, setting the stage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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song

you said you'd be late but i didn't expect not to ever see or hear from you

tomorrow will come but i won't be alone for i'll have myself to care for me

you must have planned this for your escape

i don't believe it, i'll wait until eight

this place is so crowded, so noisy and cheerful and yet i'm crying by myself

i should have known that you were the type to just get up and walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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Elton---A Trio of Limericks

There was a young lad named John

Who played soccer and wrote many a song

He'd kick it around;

Both the ball and the sound

But would not admit it was wrong.

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There was a young man from Middlesex

Upon young girls he put quite a hex

They'd scream and they'd rave

They would quite misbehave

He was quite a symbol of sex.

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There once was a lad named Dwight

Who was quite talented in his own write

His name changed to John;

He wrote many a song

And was often heard singing all night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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"a garbo widow"

and you just can't deal with it anymore

as I point towards the door

you fall, and grovel at my feet

and cry those goddamned tears

you say I'm selfish, it may be true.

I'm really tired of keeping it to myself

so I'll give some of my pain to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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haiku one

a kiss

a wave into summer

smiling warm and

caressing

******************

haiku two

summer

blending into warmth

silencing an

angry frost

********************

haiku three

caress

a touch of energy

electric flame

singing bright

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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song

talk to me like the rain and let me listen

too many times i've cried and not for you

speak to me do not touch me show your face now

looking at your eyes i don't find the truth

mirroring sadness slowly brings you to me

all my tears have only made you laugh

fold your arms do not care i love you

i'll teach you guitar and kiss away the past

hold my hand don't look into the future

be with me now and maybe we'll both laugh

seasons of loneliness will pass between us

the memories I have are always painted black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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Photograph One

I've been up all night

Thinking over consequences

Sometimes it feels all right,

Until I think in present tenses.

Especially with you

When I read your telegram

And realise it's true

Now you're just a photograph

Day after day you reappear

night after night you give me love and disappear

It makes no difference now

You've turned to black and white

You've won the war, and how

I'll never know, wrong or right.

I think about the past

And wonder how I ever lost it

Sometimes it's hard to laugh

While looking at your photograph

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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More Than Ever

5 24 78

1.43 pm

You left me standing at the airport

Clutching the fence

Watching the plane turn into sky

Nothing but memories were left.

I hated how you left me

I hated you I hated me

For letting you go.

I cried, tearing myself apart

Feeling too lonely,

Still giving all myself.

After my tears were gone I thought.

I remembered

I analyzed

And I hated you more than ever

Wanting to scratch you till you bled

Bleeding like I had bled

Wanting to make you die

As I had died

Wanting you to suffer

Suffering more than I had

And the tears returned

I hated you more than ever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joy Burton

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